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Counters |
| Visits yesterday: |
33 |
| Visits today: |
28 |
| Visits month: |
168 |
| Visits total: |
23541 |
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Poop -
Reviews
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 The reason I
haven't reviewed Mystery Quest on The History Channel before now is
that it's generally an even bigger pile of hockey doo than Monster
Quest was, and there aren't even any camera traps, for the most part.
Mystery Quest mainly concerns itself with mysteries that can't be
proved one way or the other and that have been the subject of so many
other expanded programming cable package programs that I have more than
a little bit of trouble caring. But I did bother tuning in when
Mystery Quest promised us information on new Jack The Ripper suspects.
I was curious, since nearly every human in London at the time, with the
possible exception of the victims, has had their own television show
devoted to their suspectedness. Painter Walter Sickert
was especially tormented after death with an extremely boring book by
that queen of detective hoo-ha, Patricia Cornwell. Patricia,
determined to poop completely on poor Walter, allegedly destroyed some
of his artwork in her search for "proof" and more attention for herself. Patricia
is a person who very much annoys me, and perhaps I will discuss her
annoyingness more in another review. For now...on with the Jack The
Ripper Mystery Quest Review!
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Poop -
Reviews
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 Since the final episode of
The Colony on The Discovery Channel, this website has been a shadow of
its former self. Lord knows I've tried to find something on television
to review. A lot of shows ended, which implied to me that other shows
would be beginning, and the only thing I've run across that tickled my
fancy has been Mystery Quest on The History Channel, which has, thus
far, proved to be even more boring and fuller of hockey doo than
Monster Quest was.
I started playing games on the internet to relieve the tedium of a
season of television shows not worth making fun of. I kind of like
Mobster World on Twitter, because it's about making money and mayhem.
I'm having trouble relating to YoVille on Facebook, because it's about
dressing up and decorating houses. (In real life, new people I meet
think I'm the school nurse at a local junior high because I found a lot
of scrub tops with the school logo for sale at a thrift shop for 50
cents each.) But what DID appeal to me about YoVille is the idea that
you can "buy" some virtual crap and resell it later to suckers for very
much crap fake virtual money. Halloween will end, but I suspect that YoVillians' desire for windows that look like there is a storm outside will be eternal.
The game suddenly seemed more fun to me when there was the possibility
of taking advantage of someone on the table.. Unfortunately, I was
going to need "YoCash" to purchase certain desirable Halloween items on
YoVille. "YoCash" can only be obtained by purchasing it (not going to
happen), filling out 50 page long internet surveys (not going to
happen), or signing up for things like a Netflix trial. That appealed
to me, since I'd considered doing it, anyhow. Netflix has a FABULOUS
documentary section. Two days and many virtual
storming-outside-but-not-inside windows later, I got my first DVD in
the mail....
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Poop -
Reviews
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 The end of the world has
ended. The Discovery Channel served up its last handful of Doomsday Reality TV tonight. We saw the final episode of The Colony.
The Colony started where it left off last week, with Solar Powered
Trike accident. Tiny Penis "Illiterate" Handyman has wrecked Solar
Powered Trike. Tiny Penis "Illiterate" Handyman has also hurt himself,
which makes Gay Drug Trafficker Contractor show his softer side. "Get
UPPPPPP," shrieks Gay Drug Trafficker Contractor. "Take my place
working on Battle Truck while I wander around looking important so I
can come back later and yell at you more for doing things differently
than I would have donnnnneeee!" So, Tiny Penis "Illiterate" Handyman
does what he is told, which is generally shocking and must mean he is
concussed, because we have watched him argue with people over NOTHING
for weeks, now.
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Poop -
Reviews
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 Tuesday Night. The Day After
Tomorrow. A Viral Outbreak Has Ended The World. The Colonists of The
Colony on Discovery Channel are in trouble. The show opens with
touching proof that The Colonists are withering away. Before and After
pictures of The Colonists show that their now bigger hair has indeed
made their bodies appear smaller.
The challenge before The Colonists this week is to prepare Battle Truck
so that they may escape their once-beloved Sanctuary Warehouse.
Sanctuary Warehouse is dirty. Sanctuary Warehouse smells icky poo.
There's no place like home, and Sanctuary Warehouse has ceased to be
home to The Colonists because it's running low on Civilization Kits
left by Off-Camera Experts. Sanctuary Warehouse is now like a tin can
in a workplace that has no recycling bins, yet has a sign over the
garbage can that says everyone should recycle at work. Sanctuary
Warehouse is annoying as hell to everyone. Well, it is to me.
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Poop -
Reviews
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 It's Tuesday night again.
The Colonists of The Colony are back on The Discovery Channel to show us how to survive the end
of the world by being selfishly, gizmo-obsessedly, tunnely visionish.
This week, The Colonists are in the same shape they were in last
week...hungry, thirsty, dirty, and too smart for their own goods.
Except now Gay Drug Trafficker Contractor is sick. Hooker Dress Nurse
thinks it's a kidney stone, but I'm betting on a stray leftover condom
in his colon. There are several ways it could have gotten there.
Since Gay Drug Trafficker Contractor is out of commission until he pees
(poos), The Colonists have nothing to do. They can't work on Battle
Truck without Gay Drug Trafficker Contractor (who knows why), so they,
of course, busy themselves other ways.
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