The reason I haven't reviewed Mystery Quest on The History Channel before now is that it's generally an even bigger pile of hockey doo than Monster Quest was, and there aren't even any camera traps, for the most part.  Mystery Quest mainly concerns itself with mysteries that can't be proved one way or the other and that have been the subject of so many other expanded programming cable package programs that I have more than a little bit of trouble caring.  But I did bother tuning in when Mystery Quest promised us information on new Jack The Ripper suspects.  I was curious, since nearly every human in London at the time, with the possible exception of the victims, has had their own television show devoted to their suspectedness.  Painter Walter Sickert

Mystery Quest has two new Jack The Ripper suspects to tell us about in this program.  The first, and admittedly best suspect, is traveling American Quack Doctor Francis Tumblety.  In addition to having a humorous name, Tumblety was a generally amusing person who pretended to have experience he didn't have in a variety of fields.  There exists a very silly photo of Tumblety in a mish-mash of military uniforms and what appears to be the bottom half of a bear costume.  Some of the evidence against Tumblety is interesting.  Tumblety was in London at the time of the murders, and an American apparently returned to a boarding house with bloody clothing after the double Ripper murders.  Tumblety had the crude medical knowledge necessary to cut up prostitutes' privates.  He also had a weird uterus collection, sorted by the social class of the original owners.  Even considering the Victorian craze for natural specimen collection, the uterus collection was odd. 

Then the case against Tumblety goes down the loo for me.  Tumblety apparently got into trouble for having sex with young men.  This is proof of...gayness.  According to handwriting analysis, Tumblety may have written the "From Hell" Ripper letter, which included half a human kidney.  Ripper letter writing was a huge sport in London during the time of the murders.  There were HUNDREDS of Ripper letters mailed off to newspapers, Scotland Yard, and anywhere else a scary letter might make someone pee a little.  It's entirely possible that none of these letters were written by the killer.  The kidney would be harder to dismiss in the modern world, but we are talking about a London of grave robbers and masses of teeming poor who wanted to stay below governmental radar because they survived by means illegal and there was no dole to get on.  We all could have gotten kidneys in Victorian London, if we'd wanted.  Sure, Tumblety could have committed the murders, and he was a suspect at the time, but he might have been a suspect simply because he was American and would leave and would therefore be too hard to investigate and Scotland Yard could go back to eating scones.

Because The History Channel must be ridiculous, we are also treated to a FEMALE Ripper suspect.  Some 2006 DNA test on Ripper letter envelope spit revealed that a WOMAN may have licked the envelope.  See prior paragraph concerning the hundreds of Ripper letters received.  Because there is a chance in hell that the Ripper was a woman, Mystery Quest presents us with a female suspect to examine.  Mary Pearcey was a London murderess who was hanged on December 23, 1890.  No last visit from Santa for Mary.  Mary killed her lover's wife and baby, actually nearly beheading the wife.  But the near-beheading wasn't for fun, it was so Mary could better twist the head around to make the body better fit into a pram.  Was Mary actually Jill The Ripper?  Pfft.  No.  But still we must belabor the remote possibility with a demonstration on a dummy that proves girls are strong enough to kill people if they want.

Mystery Quest is pretty dull.  I'd hesitate to watch it again if they promised to show me Hilter shooting JFK from the deck of the USS Eldridge.  But I'm a sucker, so don't hold me to that. 

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